


The Angel and the Fallen

by Ineffable_Nephy



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Aziraphale is an oblivious dork, M/M, crowley has a hard time confessing, heaven and hell are displeased, ineffable husbands, there will probably be smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-06-29 02:02:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19820254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ineffable_Nephy/pseuds/Ineffable_Nephy
Summary: Hi this is gonna be a dumpster fire, i just try to get back into writing so enjoy some frustration, angst and lovesick idiots!





	1. Prolouge - Armageddon is over - what now?

He tapped his fingers against the top of his desk. The only sound filling the room. He was thinking. Thinking about a lot of things. Armageddon had been avoided. Both him and Aziraphale disobeyed their sides and finally got a break from everything. He should have been happy. But he wasn't. Despite everything, even the whole goddamn world almost ending, he didn't find the words. He didn't tell Aziraphale how much he actually meant to him.

Sure, on one hand, he actually should know how he felt. Over the past 6000 years they had experienced so much together. Hell, he even entered that damn church to save his ass - and the books. If that wasn't proof of his love towards the angel, what else was?

He let out a sigh, tapping his fingers still against the desk. Yellow snake eyes glancing over his sunglasses, looking at nothing in particular. He had to plan this carefully. He couldn't mess a confession like that up. He just… couldn't.

On the other side of London, Soho to be exact, Aziraphale enjoyed his new won freedom. He had a constant smile on his lips, humming a melody to himself while he reorganized his bookshop, made some hot chocolate and passed the time. Heaven didn't want to interfere with an angel who could resist hellfire so he was suspended for an unknown time. But if he was being honest, this was the best thing that could have happened to him. The apocalypse had been avoided and he had all the time in the world to enjoy a more human life. Maybe meet his wonderful demonic best friend Crowley more often and just enjoy their freedom.

Speaking of which, Aziraphale hadn't had dinner with the demon in a while - a whole two days. Maybe he should give him a call? He hummed to himself, walking up to his old phone in the store and dialing Crowley's number. "Hello dear," the angel said the moment he heard Crowley pick up the phone. "Do you have any plans for tonight?"

Crowley frowned, looking out the window. "Not really. Wanna go on a date?" He asked, half joking.

Aziraphale, oblivious as always, excitedly agreed to 'go on a date'. Though he really was just thinking of dinner, the human meaning of 'going on a date' completely going over his head. "Then let's meet at 6 p.m. Alright?"

"Of course, angel… See you there." And with that, he hung up. A deep sigh came over his lips. He quickly grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, writing down his thoughts to get them out of his system. It was a method he had learnt a couple of years ago. It was one of his darker times, where a lot of shit went down, bad thoughts reminding him over and over that he was a demon. Reminding him that it was against demonic and celestial laws, a relationship like that would have no place, nowhere.

He kept them all in a box in one of the drawers in his desk. It was relieving, just getting the thoughts, the confessions, the worries, just all of it out. It was frustrating, yes, but there wasn't much he could do. He sighed, adding the paper to the growing pile before hiding it again and getting up. He had to get a present for Aziraphale before their supposed date.

Crowley grabbed the Bentley's keys, whistling the melody of _Somebody to love_ by Queen while leaving his place. Once outside, he unlocked the car and got in, driving to a certain, hidden location. He had a specific present in mind and there were not too many places in London where you could get this kind of item.

He parked his car, quickly locking it and slipping the keys into his pocket. With the snap of his fingers, his appearance changed. He had to make sure nobody could recognize him, just in case.

The demon entered the underground station, but instead of buying a ticket, he took a different entrance, appearing right in the middle of a crowded market. A black market, created by the worst of the worst. But they did have amazing items from all over the world, and one thing he really wanted to get for Aziraphale. It was an ancient book of prophecies that were written in such a weird, mysterious way, that nobody had figured out a single one of them over the past one thousand years. The dealer he had talked to before said it could take him a while to get it, but today should be the day.

Crowley, in form of a young, demonic woman walked through the market, confidence radiating him. It didn't take him very long to talk to said dealer and get the book. It was incredibly expensive but he would do anything for his angel and the excitement on his face would be absolutely priceless. The ginger smiled, thanking the other before turning around on spot, about to leave the black market again.

Just when he was about to step out of the location, he frowned. No. No, no, no. This wasn't good. Not good at all. He stared at the poster on the wall. It was Aziraphale. Somewhere, someone wanted his angel. They have apparently not only heard about his own resistance to holy water, but also Aziraphale's resistance to hell fire. And now, this someone wanted him. Alive. And the reward was very tempting. So much money and fame it would make even the most popular and famous demons jealous. He glanced over his shoulders, left, then right, before quickly ripping one of the posters off the wall and stuffing it into his bag. A little more upset now, he left the underground and returned to his Bentley.

Once there, he changed back again, turning on the car's engine. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! I thought we were done with this shit!" He yelled, groaning in annoyance. He would find out what demon wanted to steal _his_ angel. And he would not let it happen. Period.

If only Crowley had know that not only someone was looking for Aziraphale, but also for him.  
There was another storm coming. And it would be very soon.


	2. Plans

Chapter 1 - Plans

_Two weeks prior_

There was just the soft buzzing of flies. It was annoying to Gabriel but it wasn't like he had any other option than to be here. He let out a sigh when Beelzebub started talking.

"This should not have happened. Something is wrong. Very wrong. We need every information we can get and even though I do not trust you or any of your kind… I guess this time we have to work together one more time." They sat there, looking at each other. Both Gabriel and Beelzebub had not been pleased with Crowley and Aziraphale suddenly showing abilities they could not possibly possess. The prince of hell sighed.

Gabriel nodded at that. "Our God has not interfered which means she does enjoy this show, likely wanting to see what's going to happen next… It's probably part of the great plan… But we can not risk heaven's reputation like this. If things continue and we can't punish Aziraphale for his sins, angels will start to think they can do whatever they want!"

"Likewise. Crowley being resistant to holy water is outrageous. We can't have a demon like him, pure enough to not get killed by holy water. We have to catch them. Both of them. If the rumors are true and they…" Beelzebub's expression shifted to something similar to disgust. "They actually are _closer_ than friends, we can find out how to eliminate them by just threatening to torture the other. Easy as that. Everybody has a weakness, we just have to find them. They should roam Earth, possibly still London."

"Possibly, yes. I will send my best spys. You should do the same," Gabriel said, now getting up from his chair. "We will stay in contact. Do not try to fool us, it won't work."

Beelzebub nodded. "Same goes for you, Gabriel. We will keep you updated and you will send any viable information back to us as well."

"Deal."

\----

_Present day_

After their usual dinner, Aziraphale convinced Crowley to join him for a few drinks at his bookshop. Not that he needed much convincing, anyways.

"Okay, soooo…" Crowley started, after about four glasses of exquisite wine, now rummaging inside his bag to find the book he had gotten just for his perfect angel.

"So?" The angel asked, holding his own fourth glass of wine, glancing over at Crowley to see what he was looking for. He still had that soft smile on his lips, enjoying the evening a lot. It was just so nice, having a break from heaven and armageddon and - most importantly - being able to spend time with his old friend.

"So. I, uh…" Crowley hesitated. He didn't wanna drop the bomb. Not just yet. He should probably just give him the book and enjoy the rest of their evening.

Aziraphale tilted his head, setting down the wine glass for a moment. "Is everything alright, dear?" He asked, his blue eyes closely looking at his friend. It seemed like something was bothering the demon. "You know you can talk to me about anything, yes?"

Crowley could feel his cheeks heat up at that, shaking his head. "Eh, it's nothing, angel… i just got you a book. Here. Enjoy." He tossed the neatly wrapped present right into Aziraphale's lap, not really looking at the angel. He was worried that his friend would notice that there was more to his weird mood than just the present.

But, then again, Aziraphale was quite an oblivious idiot. Which just added to his over all cuteness, really. Crowley deeply enjoyed the dumb smile on his face when he got overly excited over a new book he found or some new human things he learnt. It was incredibly endearing, if also a little frustrating.

"Oh, Crowley, you didn't have to get me anything, you know…" The angel smiled, carefully unwrapping the surprise.  
When the angel read the few lines on the cover, he gasped. "... Crowley… _The prophecies of Mephistopheles?_ Where did you get one of these? They aren't as famous as Agnes Nutter's, and I'm pretty sure less accurate but… These books are rare. Demonic knowledge like this…" He looked up and over at Crowley. "Thank you so, _so_ much," he whispered, putting the paper and the book aside.

Crowley grinned, he could hear Aziraphale's excitement, his happiness, just everything. This was great. He loved the angel's voice, loved how happy he could make him despite being a jerk and a demon. "No need to thank me. And, well, I got my ways. Anything for my old friend, eh?" He finished his glass and refilled it quickly. He also tossed his bag aside, not wanting to deal with the _other_ thing he had brought with him. The thing he found hanging on a wall around the black market. Who the hell could be looking for the angel? Of course it would make sense if hell was looking for _him,_ after all he sort of disobeyed them and worked with the enemy. But Aziraphale? That was Heaven's business. Something didn't add up. 

Aziraphale smiled, but the smile faded slowly as he watched his friend. Crowley was somewhere else with his thoughts. Not that he blamed the other but… he felt a little bad. Did Crowley not wanna talk about what was on his mind? Did he not trust Aziraphale?  
He frowned, reaching over to grab his glass again but accidentally spilled the rest that was still in his glass on himself, letting out an annoyed sound. "Oh, dang… sorry, I'm always a little clumsy when I'm buzzed," he laughed awkwardly before taking off the jacket he was wearing to examine the stain. 

Crowley snapped out of his thoughts, quickly getting up as well. "You clumsy little dork," he mumbled, examining the stain as well, but feeling the sudden temptation to just… Remove the shirt completely. He grinned. "You know… if you didn't wear a shirt in the first place, you wouldn't have to worry about getting stains on it," he suggested, yellow snake eyes looking right at the angel's blue orbs. 

He was a little caught off guard, feeling his cheeks heat up at the suggestion. After staring back at the taller one for way too long, he shook his head, laughing softly. "Funny. Very funny. That's a silly idea." 

"I think it's an excellent idea. Hey, maybe I should do the same, make it fair, eh?" He offered, but instead of waiting for an answer, he just snapped his fingers and both their shirts were gone. 

Aziraphale was obviously flustered, smacking the demon's shoulder, which only earned him a soft laugh. 

Crowley was incredibly amused by that, probably because of the alcohol. "Oh, come on! It's fun! It's just you and me." 

"J-just you and me, yes," the angel stuttered, looking up at the other and gulping. He had quite a handful of minor (or, maybe a little bigger if he was completely honest) crushes on the demon over the past 6000 years. Not that he ever thought about acting on his crushes. He was a demon. Heaven would never accept that. He wasn't even sure if Crowley had that kind of interest in him. But…  
"... I don't obey heaven anymore," he mumbled to himself, his own mind blown by the realization of that. 

Crowley tilted his head. He wasn't too sure what was going on in Aziraphale's mind. He just knew that if he kept standing this close to the angel, he couldn't guarantee that he was able to resist him for much longer, so he just cleared his throat before returning to his seat. "Yes… well, anyways, no more stains," he said, trying to break the tension that just suddenly built up between them. 

The angel exhaled heavily, nodding as well as he sat down, trying to calm down. "Yes, yes of course." 

An awkward silence filled the room for the next few minutes. They just kept refilling their glasses, exchanging awkward glances. They both silently admired one another, not able to convey their true feelings into words. And while they enjoyed their evening together, happy, if also a little awkward, the forces of evil and good prepared for a hunt. 

Once Aziraphale had finished his seventh glass, he finally broke the silence. "You know, I always thought you were quite attractive… but now I can see it even better. Without the clothes on top, you know?" He tried to explain, smiling softly at the demon. 

Crowley just chuckled, rolling his eyes. "What, are you gonna tell me you wanna give in to _this_ temptation?" He asked, gesturing over his body before snorting, leaning back in his seat. "You're cute, angel. Just imagine if I never fell… if we could actually have been partners instead of enemies," he whispered, feeling both frustration and excitement at the thought. 

"Crowley…" Aziraphale said in the softest voice possible. "Listen… I care about you… a lot. But…" He looked around, now lowering his voice. "But Heaven isn't as perfect as it seems. We both know that. I think it is good how things turned out. Both of us roaming Earth and enjoying our time together here," he explained, smiling softly. 

The demon smiled, getting up from his seat once again to walk over and cup the angel's face. "Me too… I love how things turned out… I thought you were a good influence on me but… well, I guess we both influence each other a lot," he mumbled, not quite sure what he was even saying. Instead he focused on resting his hands on Aziraphale's cheeks. The warmth felt way too pleasant. He craved it. As a serpent, he was cold blooded. And that even translated into his human form. He loved the warmth, especially his angel's body warmth. 

Aziraphale didn't quite know what to say, he just blushed again when he felt Crowley cup his face. "... I… i mean you are not wrong…" he stuttered, trying to focus on the words the demon said instead of his actions. "A-are you okay?" He asked, looking up at him once more. 

"Of course, angel… of course… i'll stay the night, alright?" He said, snapping his fingers once more and changing his form into his huge serpent one. He joined Aziraphale on the couch now, hissing at the pleasant warmth and cuddling up to the angel. 

He just let out a soft laugh, miracling a blanket over both of them and petting Crowley's head. "Let's get some rest then, shall we?" He mused, before slowly falling asleep with the cuddly serpent. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any errors in the writing! I just wanted to finish this before I leave for work. I hope you enjoyed it and are excited for more soon💜


	3. More Prophecies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suffer with me :)

Chapter 2 The angel smiled. He had been awake for a while now, just gently petting the snake curled up next to him, though sometimes Crowley moved, spreading his long body all across the couch - including Aziraphale. The angel definitely didn’t mind. He just picked up the special book of prophecies Crowley got him. He really appreciated the demon. He always knew what to do to put a smile on his face.

After a little, he managed to unwind from the serpent, getting up and attending to his book store. He opened the store, sighing softly. Even though he wasn't too fond selling his books, there were just too many things he loved. He appreciated the humans coming in and talking or gushing about their books, or their interest in certain books that he also found himself liking. And every now and then, he actually parted with a book or two.

Today, there were many people coming in and leaving again, but one was different. It was a mother coming in with her kid in the late afternoon, walking around the store and looking for something, while the child walked up to the couch that was turned away from the store for many reasons. When the small girl was actually just looking for somewhere to sit or something interesting to explore, she found a _huge_ snake. But instead of screaming or crying or being scared, she just reached over, giving Crowley soft pets on his head and giggling to herself.

Aziraphale didn’t pay too much attention to the child, instead talking to the mother that was showing quite some interest in the books about rituals. Telling from the charms she was wearing and the special aura that surrounded her, she seemed to be a witch. The angel smiled. He always enjoyed the company of people like her. That’s why Anathema was more than welcome at any times. Even though her and Newt have been busy lately, they passed by every now and then to have tea or coffee (or in Aziraphale’s case, hot chocolate) - but that's besides the point.

Crowley, drowsy as hell and just confused as to why he was being pet differently (yes, he could tell other people’s touches from Aziraphale’s), opened his eyes and tilt his head. There was a young girl, maybe around seven years old if he had to guess, petting him. It was honestly adorable, so he decided to keep the act up, smiling at the girl and closing his eyes again. She seemed to appreciate that, joining him on the couch now and petting him again, giggling to herself the whole time. This was so much better than books!

The woman talking to Aziraphale was quite impressed by the angel’s knowledge, which just led her to believe that, maybe, she should share what she knew. “Mr. Fell… Can I tell you something? It might sound really, really weird… But things out of the ordinary seem to be both our things, am I right?”

The angel raised an eyebrow at that, nodding slowly. “Yes? What is it?” He asked, trying to be serious but also feeling nervosity boil up inside him. Something seemed wrong, his good mood from before slowly shifting. He had a bad feeling about this.

“Well, this might sound a little insane, so if you don’t believe me, I wouldn’t blame you but… I have had visions for all my life. I usually can’t really pinpoint what they mean until after they happen but… I had visions of this book store. And two shady beings. I assume ghosts or demons.” She explained, frowning and looking around. “They tried to knock you out. I don’t know if this had already happened, will happen soon, or way further in the future. My visions aren’t really precise…”

Aziraphale managed a small smile, shaking his head. “I haven’t been attacked by anyone lately, and I’m pretty sure me and my, uh… My _good friend_ will be able to fight any potential demons. We survived worse, trust me,” he said, trying to reassure the young woman, though he knew from multiple occasions that the warnings of a witch should be treated with caution. Maybe he should be on his guard. Not that it really mattered. In the end, visions and prophecies most of the time came true, whether or not anyone tried to avoid them. But he should at least inform Crowley, making sure that if, in fact, something happened to him, the demon would be able to track down the responsible beings and save him again.

“Alright then. I’m glad you have friend’s that will help you protect yourself against evil… Anyways, so about that book,” she started again, talking to the angel about the rituals book and even managing to convince him to let her buy it.

Once the witch had what she wanted, she looked around for her daughter. “Oh no, where did she go again?”, she mumbled to herself, quickly looking around the bookstore to find her daughter - and a giant snake. She froze for a moment. “I-Is… Is this _yours?_ ” she asked the bookshop owner, a little panicked, but calmed down when her daughter just giggled.

“Momma! I want a snake too!” The kid exclaimed, obviously excited when she got back up from the couch, leaving behind the huge snake, who now opened his eyes again.

“Oh, yes, that’s >i>my snake,” Aziraphale said, laughing awkwardly and scratching the back of his neck. “He’s a big softie, he would never hurt anyone,” he explained, giving Crowley a look to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid.

Crowley though wanted to protest, proofing that, in fact, he was not a big softie, but on the other hand felt like he owed Aziraphale too much to throw a fit, just rolling his eyes instead. For now.

The witch exhaled, quickly taking the child’s hand and shaking her head. “No, it’s not your fault. She has a tendency to run off and explore everything. She is a lot like me, I guess. Anyways, thank you so, so much again, Mr. Fell. It was great meeting you,” she said, smiling at the other before turning to the snake. “Well, and meeting you too, right? Say goodbye, Uriel,” she told her child.

The child smiled, waving goodbye to her scaly friend and then the bookshop owner. “Bye bye!” And with that, both the mother and her child left the store.

The moment they left, Crowley transformed back into his human form, rubbing the back of his neck and looking over at Aziraphale. “... Guess I made a new friend, eh? Uriel… What a name... Are you okay?”, he asked, noticing that Aziraphale was a little pale. 

The angel took a deep breath. “I think we need to have a talk, dear…”, he mumbled, walking over to the store’s entrance. He closed the doors and locked them, even though it was not past his opening hours yet. “You know… The prophecy book you got me, right? Let me show you something...”

He quickly grabbed the old book, opening a certain page and showing it to Crowley, who read the lines carefully.

While the demon did that, Aziraphale looked around the store, feeling a little sick. “I read through a few pages while you were still sleeping earlier today. And as far as I know, not a lot of Mephistophele’s prophecies have been true or, heavens, been fulfilled yet. Of course none of the prophecy books I have been as accurate as Agnes Nutter’s prophecies but… A few things in this book could actually be real and the events today were a little alarming and too similar to what Mephistopheles had foretold to be brushed off as just coincidence... Like, not only the prophecy, but also the fact that a witch just came in today and told me she had a vision that I was attacked.”

Crowley read the lines again and again and the frown on his forehead just got deeper. He didn’t like that. Not at all. He already knew that someone was looking for him and Aziraphale but… This was not good. Hell, he just wanted some time with his angel and not have to worry about anything stupid like prophecies or fate. “Witch? So that kid’s mother is a witch? That explains the weird aura I felt… Anyways, this prophecy doesn’t sound good. But then again, who says that it’s gonna happen? You know how to defend yourself. And I will also make sure nobody _ever_ touches my friend again… Besides me of course.”

He grinned a little, putting the book down. “Aziraphale. We survived the end of the world. As long as you and I stay together, there is nothing that can stop us, okay?” He took the angel’s hands, squeezing them and trying to calm him down. “We can always just run away, okay? I won’t ever leave you behind, no matter what.”

The angel was… Really flattered, feeling his cheeks heat up a little at that. “You’re more sappy than you let on, Crowley… You know… There was something I, uh… Something important I need to tell you. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, at least a thousand years, maybe longer…”

The demon cocked an eyebrow, his grin shifting to a soft smile. He got his hopes up, yellow snake eyes focused on the angel’s beautiful face. “Yes? What is it? You know you can tell me anything, yes?” He said, his voice softer than any demon could ever be. Deep down, there was still a lot left over from the fallen angel.

Aziraphale swallowed thickly, his throat feeling quite dry all of a sudden. He was nervous. He had no idea what Crowley would think of him. They’ve only been friends for so long. What if the other didn’t want that to change? What if his feelings would ruin their friendship? Was he really willing to risk that?

“I--”

His problem was easily solved when a big, heavy object hit the back of his head, knocking the angel unconscious and letting him drop to the ground.

Crowley snapped out of his trance, reacting just in time to dodge a hit to his own head, taking a few quick steps back to collect himself. “What the actual FUCK are you doing?! You hurt him!! I will make you assholes pay!”, he hissed, anger clear in his voice, eyes showing nothing but hate towards the attackers.

The two people looked at each other for a moment before one removed the cloth covering his face. “Of course, this damn snake would manage to slither away just in time. Not even a lovey talk with his shitty boyfriend would distract him enough to make sure he gets knocked out cold.”

Crowley wasn’t sure if he knew that guy, but he looked like a spawn from hell. A strong one too. “You know, he’s not really my boyfriend,” _yet_ “, but I mean, you got lucky, one out of two is probably the best score you ever got on a mission, eh”, he mocked him, before looking over at the other one. Two versus one was not fair, but he was convinced he had at least enough fighting skills and some tricks up his sleeve to knock one of them out. The only problem was… Aziraphale. He was unconscious. He couldn’t save him _and_ himself. He frowned. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!_ “But hey, how about a deal. You guys leave him here and take me instead. I’m sure you’re interested in that. After all, I’m a demon resistant to holy water, yeah? You can get quite the cash if you bring me to Lord Beelzebub, right?~” He really hoped this would work out. Hoped they were dumb enough to give in to that.

Just when the demon was about to consider the offer, the other person took off the scarf covering their own face. It was heavenly beautiful. They had bright blue eyes, soft, brown curls and almost perfect skin. “Don’t let this snake lure you into a deal. We’re taking both of you, period.”

“Oho. An angel and a demon working together? Sounds a lot like me and my friend over there. How about you reconsider this whole ‘hunting’ thing and just figure out your own stuff, yeah?” He gave them a grin, taking another step back, but there was no use, the person he assumed to be an angel held their hand out, using some carefully worded blessings to keep Crowley right in spot.

“No. You come with us. Both of you. We got quite a few people who want your heads… And we’ll sell them to the highest bidder.” And with that, and a quick hit to the head, everything went black.


	4. A special auction

Chapter 3  
A special auction

Finding a black market to sell an angel and a demon was already terribly hard in and of itself. But finding a black market to sell them _without_ having a demon tell Prince of Hell, Lord Beelzebub or an angel telling the mighty archangel Gabriel was almost impossible - and they knew exactly that both Beelzebub and Gabriel wanted these two lovesick idiots and charge them for their crimes. Cereza sighed. They thought they had planned this perfectly, but of course something had to mess up their plan.

“What are you thinking about?” The demon asked his angelic friend, driving around London. “... We have to be really careful about this, Azazel. Or else they take our heads too. We’ve made it this far and I’m not risking my fall over this or you getting tortured for heaven knows how long in this hellhole. Gabriel is not allowed to find out about this. Neither is Beelzebub, got it?”  
“Well, obviously. Despite what you think, I’m not an idiot, Cereza. I wouldn’t want you to fall.” Azazel drove around the corner, frowning as he came to a halt in front of an old, spooky warehouse. “Alright. We’re here. This is the closest we could get to the black market without actually getting noticed by any demons or - Satan forbid - angels undercover that go over there to deal with illegal substances and items or… Well… People. The entrance is right behind the warehouse.”  
They chuckled, reaching over to cup his cheek. “Perfect. Then we just gotta wait til they wake up, find out their secrets, sell them and have the most perfect rest of our eternal lives.”  
“Can’t wait.”

~~~~~~

His head hurt like hell. He would’ve cursed, but that wasn’t quite his style. The angel wanted to touch the back of his head but - he couldn’t. In general, he was a little… Tied up. He let out a displeased groan, trying to open his eyes. Everything felt so wrong. He just remembered being back in the book shop, about to confess what he really felt to Crowley, but… What happened after that?

As he finally managed to open his eyes, the light was just too bright. “Ugh… Heavens… Where am I?”, he asked, looking around. It seemed to be some damn shady place, that was for sure. And not only that, but when he tried to use even the smallest miracle, say, to remove his ties, it didn’t work. Not that he had expected it to work, he was quite restricted when it came to his heavenly abilities lately.

“Well, see who woke up at last,” they mused, looking over at Aziraphale. Of course Cereza knew they had to be careful. As innocent as the angel seemed whenever their ways crossed in Heaven or on Earth, they wouldn’t underestimate him. He somehow gained the ability to survive the deadliest punishment Gabriel had figured out to this day. “Let’s have a little talk, shall we?”

“Where is Crowley?”

They chuckled, walking over to the angel, tied up to a chair and snaking their finger around his chin. “ _I_ am the one asking questions, capiche? Or else there might be a little… Accident to your human vessel and you’ll be sent straight back to Heaven.” 

~~~~~~~~

On the other end of the warehouse, Azazel was dealing with a hissing and yelling demon. “You think this is gonna stop me?!” Crowley yelled, his anger clearly showing. His forked tongue peaked out through his lips when he hissed at the other demon, a few scales breaking his skin, something that really just happened when he was _really_ upset. And Hell knew, he was _furious_. This fucking bitch took his angel and thought he could get away with it? Hell no.

“Oh, so furious. I love it… The great master Crowley, a lot less great when restricted like the little bitch he actually is,” Azazel mocked, grinning wider as he walked around the chair. “Pathetic,” he hissed, not impressed by his slow but steady transformation into a serpent. “Tell me how. How did you survive a bath in holy water. If you tell me that, I will untie you immediately and you can leave and get your stupid little angel. Sounds good?” He asked, still grinning. It was obviously a lie. As if he would let go a jewel like him that easily. But love made humans - and demons - do stupid things. So maybe he got lucky this time.

“Sounds like you can suck my dick,” Crowley hissed back, golden snake eyes glaring at the other demon. “If you were anything close to smart you wouldn’t challenge an enemy who’s stronger than you. Let me GO!”, he hissed again, tugging hard on the ties that held him in place.

He felt a hard punch to the jaw, the pain spreading more, followed by cackling. He was _so_ going to end him.

“Big words for someone who got caught so easily. What’s wrong, Crowley? Did Lord Beelzebub restrict your use of demonic miracles?” He kept mocking him, causing the other to hiss again, more scales appearing on his skin. “If you’re not careful, we’ll take _extra good care_ of your little angel friend. All I have to do is inform Cereza that you’re a very bad demon and they’ll snap his neck and send him straight back to Heaven.”

Crowley hated this. Hell, he hated all of this. He wanted to protect Aziraphale but things didn’t look too well. He just wanted to run away with his angel and leave this god forsaken place behind. Just let the angel read in his book shop, have dinners together, go out every now and then… But they wouldn't have that. None of that. Just because both Heaven and Hell were upset. 

He took a deep breath, trying to calm his temper. “Sure… Whatever. You want to know how to resist holy water? I’ll fucking tell you then.” He glared at the other, showing how displeased he was, but it wasn’t much help now, was it?

~~~~~~

On the other side of London, in a park, Beelzebub and Gabriel met again. It became a weekly thing. Meeting up, discussing matters and exchanging what they found out about and figuring out the location and further punishment of Crowley and Aziraphale.

“We are not allowing them to use much of their magic, Heaven and Hell restricting them… They can't go too far... It will be easy once we find them. And punish them," Beelzebub said, leaning back against the park bench. They were obviously still displeased. Losing a quite capable demon and having their dark Lord Satan not do anything about it felt quite odd. On the other hand… They side eyed the archangel. Well, they actually did enjoy these meetings. It sort of made sense. To some extent, they could understand why Crowley enjoyed spending hours over hours with an angel.

Likewise, Gabriel had a lot of fun meeting the prince of hell. He saw it as sort of spying on the enemy. Or that's what he told himself anyways. Beelzebub was such a strong contrast to what he was used to. Unlike the angels, he had no power over them. He couldn't judge them and they didn't obey. It was new. It was exciting. And he enjoyed it so much that, if he was just honest with himself for a minute, the whole issue of finding Crowley and Aziraphale was not really as important to him as it should be.  
"Soon enough, Beelzebub. Patience is a virtue. They can't run forever, persistence is key."

They nodded. "True… and since neither Lord Satan nor your God seem to take this issue too serious, we don't have to stress ourselves, do we now." For the first time in forever, they had a genuine smile on their lips as they side eyed the archangel. This surely was going to take longer than needed and they definitely didn't mind. "How about we go for a walk and you tell me even more about how much you hate that little angel of yours?"

~~~~~~

After hours if trying to find out more, Cereza and Azazel decided it was no use. Selling them quickly would be easier - and less dangerous for the two of them. Once they snuck them into the black market, Cereza made sure to disguise themselves properly, as they preferred not to draw any attention to them. It was more likely for demons to run this place so of course, being an angel - besides the one they were about to sell - was a risk.

Azazel took this part over. They had both Crowley and Aziraphale tied up to their chairs and knocked out by said demon. He loved using physical force against others. It was _fun._

"Ladies, Gentlemen and creatures of the night," he said loud enough for people around the black market to hear. He got the attention from a few beings around, looking curiously at the two men tied to the chairs. Whispers of all kinds and languages were heard as Azazel continued.

"You probably recognize these two faces. An angel - and not just any angel - the one that is resistant to hell fire! And this excellent example of a demon who can endure holy water!" He grinned wide as the audience slowly gathered around him, trying to take closer looks of the two. The whispers got louder, the people more and more curious if Azazel was serious.

 _"Could it really be Master Crowley and this angel guy?"_ The whispers said, before Azazel shushed everyone.

"The bidding starts now. We accept any currencies, human ones, demon ones, physical items to trade…"

"A thousand bucks!" "A golden chest of cursed items!" "Five thousand!"

A lot of people kept bidding but there was this one person, wrapped in a dark cloak. She smiled, raising her hand, knowing fully well she would win that. And she wanted these two for very specific reasons. "One million pounds. Take it or leave it."

Azazel's eyes widned and he shot Cereza a quick grin. They nodded at each other. "Deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CAN EXPLAIN.
> 
> so i know i wanted to update last weekend but i was in a very art-y mood sooo... Enjoy my art of the ineffable husbands nsjcjdn
> 
> https://twitter.com/prince_nephy/status/1159034320515928070?s=19  
> https://twitter.com/prince_nephy/status/1157974151929507845?s=19


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